I’m sorry that I wasn’t able to come to the funeral today so at 11.30am I lit a candle, thought about you both, and wrote this. My spirit and my heart were and are with you.
Although I knew, Jef only in the capacity of counselling/therapy I had the privilege of working with both him and Steph from the beginning of January when they both came to see me following the devastating news of Jef’s illness, so this is written in the context of knowing them both within the confines of my counselling room.
We all worked together with a view to preparing them both for what might lie ahead.
I have to say that I found them very inspiring in the way that they handled the situation, in both practical and emotional ways. Through the sadness and pain, with some days being better than others, I saw their strength, their deep love and concern for one-another, their open and honest communication with each-other and with me, as they shared, amongst other things, some of their life experiences and their mutual love of their cats, as well as interesting conversations on a variety of topics, in the main, due to Jef’s lively and enquiring mind.  Although hope was given and then taken away by the medical profession from time to time, despite their natural disappointment, they remained as positive as one can be while still being authentic. Jef, was taken away so young but the memory of him, first, tall and with a strong and lovely presence, with his long luxurious dark hair, then with his neatly short cropped hair and his beautiful big cat print t-shirts, sitting opposite me with his wonderful, caring and loving wife Steph, will always remain with me. Rest in peace Jef, my love is with you and with you dear Steph and your beloved cats.